Coming to Terms with Loss: How Therapy Can Help You Navigate Grief
Losing someone you love can feel like the ground beneath you has shifted. Whether the loss was expected or sudden, it can leave you feeling disoriented, empty, or even numb. You might find yourself wondering if you’re grieving the “right way” — but the truth is, there’s no single way to experience loss. Grief looks and feels different for everyone.
How Grief Can Show Up
Grief can affect us emotionally, physically, and even spiritually. You might feel waves of sadness one moment and calm the next, or find yourself feeling angry, guilty, or relieved — especially if your loved one had been suffering, or if your relationship with them was complicated. It can be confusing to hold both love and pain, or sadness and relief, at the same time — yet this is a very human part of grief.
For some people, grief shows up in tears; for others, in silence, exhaustion, or a sense of disconnection. You might feel pressure to “move on” before you’re ready — or worry that you’re not grieving enough. Therapy can offer a space where all of these emotions are allowed to exist, without judgement or expectation.
Understanding Grief Through Theory
Many people are familiar with the five stages of grief model by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages can help us understand some of the emotions we move through, but they don’t always happen in order or neatly fit everyone’s experience.
Another helpful approach is the Dual Process Model of Grief (Stroebe & Schut), which suggests that we move between two states: one focused on loss (feeling the pain, remembering, processing emotions) and one focused on restoration (re-engaging with life, making plans, adapting to change). Both are important, and it’s natural to move back and forth between them.
You might also find comfort in the idea that grief doesn’t shrink over time — instead, our lives grow around it. Over time, we develop new experiences, relationships, and routines that expand our world, while the grief remains part of us in a gentler, more integrated way.
Ways to Remember Your Loved One
Finding ways to remember the person you’ve lost can bring comfort and connection. This might include:
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Keeping a memory box with photos, letters, or meaningful items.
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Having a teddy or piece of clothing that offers comfort or a sense of closeness.
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Sharing stories and laughter with family and friends — remembering the person not only for how they died, but for how they lived.
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Creating a small ritual or space at home to reflect or light a candle when you want to feel connected.
If your relationship with your loved one was complicated, this can bring another layer of grief — a mix of sadness, anger, or regret. Therapy can provide space to explore these feelings safely, to find understanding and perhaps some peace with what was unresolved.
How Therapy Can Help
Therapy offers a supportive space to make sense of what you’re feeling and find ways to live alongside your grief. You don’t have to face it alone or try to “get over” it. Grief is not something to fix — it’s something to be witnessed, understood, and carried with care.
If you’re finding it hard to come to terms with loss, or you’d simply like a space to talk and remember, counselling can help you reconnect with yourself and find steady ground again.
Call to Action
If you’re navigating grief and would like space to talk, you’re welcome to get in touch. I offer online and face-to-face counselling in Ludlow and across the UK. Together, we can explore your experience of loss at your own pace and find gentle ways to move forward.
Get in touch here to find out more.
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